The Digger and Low Cuisine

Omar walked into Primm, his first destination
Walked out of the dust and the radiation

Looking for protracted baroque grim vengeance
To punish his killers and extract proper penance

He entered the ruins, was – of course – shot at
Dismembered the shooters (not much of a combat)

Looted the corpses and then turned his steps
Toward Primm’s casino, to get rid of his caps

There he was greeted by Johnson and Ruby
Johnson the merchant, and Ruby the foodie

The digger went shopping and pressed on with the quest
But Primm offered more to its goat-faced guest

Old Ruby spoke up (with age girls become brave)
And made a unique offer to the visiting knave

“To keep a strong man hearty, to keep a hearty man whole
There’s nothing better than my radscorpion casserole”

“Bring me peppers, salt, some scorpion stingers”
“I’ll cook it, you’ll eat it and you’ll lick your fingers.”

“But avoid the bug’s sting” the old lady said
“No poison left, no flavor left, and also you’d be dead”

So the digger went hunting with kukri and gun
Small bugs, big bugs, bugs as big as the sun

And the bugs stung him, again and again
It certainly was a most painful campaign

But the digger gritted his teeth black as sin
And took all the bugs of the waste for a spin

It was late - very late - when the digger returned
And all through his body the scorpion juice burned

He went up to Ruby, his eyes flaming and hot
He hawked and coughed and spat in the pot

Croaked Omar “Here’s the requested ingredient”
“My gut’s full of the stuff, and it was expedient”

“To hawk, to cough, to season to taste”
“To keep it inside would be such a waste”

Ruby stared at Omar, the hardy old digger
Stung and filled to the brim with bug ichor

“I talk to a dead digger, and that freezes my soul”
“But at least you proved worthy of my casserole”

And hands him a bundle, dripping with fat
“Here’s your food, and I enjoyed our chat”

“But you know, Omar, that it is time to go”
“To find your killers and to lay them low”

And Omar left Primm, his pores oozing with venom
To find his killers and put his boot up their rectum