Wies'n flea market!

Once every year, the Theresienwiese becomes Bavaria's largest flea market. It's like the Wies'n, only less drunk, and with a lot more rubbish. There are not many tourists, although I heard a lot of French this year. The atmosphere was friendly. When I turned up at 8:00 in the morning, the best deals had already been made. Later I was told that the buying and selling started the evening before, making those people who rose at 4:30 to make a killing appear lackadaisical. After looking at a few market stalls I knew that I was completely out of my depth. These were all professionals who sized me up in a second, gauging my desire for an object as well as the depth of my wallet. During one purchase, I really had the feeling that I was taking part in a play, where I had been given certain lines, and where the end of the play was ten euros, exit left. Next year, I shall wear a fake beard, that will throw them off. The Wies'n flea market seems to be the yearly gathering of the masters of the trade, those men (and few women) who make a living at this. I had the feeling that everybody knows everybody else.
I had very precise ideas what I wanted to buy. If it had been an original Carthaginian helmet from the movie Gladiator, a throne made from antlers and boars' furs or two identical advertisements for an obscure brand of cigars (Gruner Stumpen?) from two stalls on the opposite ends of the field, I would have been successful and very happy. On second thought: That would have been awesome accouterments for a post-apocalyptic throne room, together with all the stuff plundered from post-communist facilities that can be had for a few euros.
The way it turned out I saved a lot of money and bought some very sensible stuff: a cheese grater and a butter dish and some such. I spent about six hours on the flea market, after that, my brain just seized up. There is so much to look at, to examine, and most of it is discarded a millisecond later - too ugly, too expensive, not quite what I want, its very funny but it won't be in ten minutes, it looks nice now, but it will just clog up the apartment, putting this in your living room might send a very wrong message etc. This happens about twenty times a minute, and after a while, I just suffered decision making overflow. Everything appeared samey-same and uniformly ugly: a colorful mass of undesirable trinkets. I tried hard to concentrate to find the best tea mug ever (another objective sadly unfulfilled), but it all became a mass of rubbish. After six hours, I threw the towel.
Nonetheless: The Wies'n flea market is warmly recommended, just don't think that you'll get what you want. Bring hardy boots, something to drink and a fake beard.