Kirchentag in Munich

If you have been in Munich's inner city this weekend, you have possibly noticed the many young people with orange scarves, sensible glasses and rapt expressions - people who found out they share the same imaginary friend. And the terrible, terrible music. Seriously - Christina Stürmer? Wasn't she interred in some weapons storage facility in Utah, along with the nerve gas and unstable tactical nukes? It is all very friendly and huggy, and people try their damnedest to have a good time with their pal Jesus. But something is missing. It is quite religious and all, but there is a certain lack of flair. First I thought not enough people were frothing at the mouth and convulsing on the ground. But then it struck me: No penitents! As a long-time GM and veteran of many LARPs, I feel certified to give a few hints for the next ÖKT, to increase the drama of the whole thing. I humbly present to you:

 The black penitents of the burned heart, united in merciless expiation

The penitents walk in a slow procession of maybe twenty men. Stripped to the waist, they wear nothing but short black trousers and their trademark long pointed black cowls, completely covering their faces, with only two little holes to look through, all made from horsehair. Coming at you, they look like a long row of black pointed teeth. They are, of course, barefoot. Each wears a big iron crucifix round his neck, together with long metal chains. These chains end in sharp-edged iron weights, which knock into the penitents' shins and knees with every faltering step. Each penitent carries a whip, which sports seven short iron chains, one for each mortal sin. With each step, the penitents swing these whips over their shoulders onto their naked backs, which are soon covered in bloody welts. Before the procession, the penitents have been shrouded in a mixture of salt and ash. As they proceed on their way, a priest throws further handfuls of this stinging powder on those who have been washed clean by sweat and blood. They are further humbled by long strips of parchment pinned to their naked chests, listing their lapses and sins.
In the middle of the procession is the Low Sinner. He carries a large wooden cross. It should be really big, he should look like an ant trying to drag a sugar cube. The penitents have driven one nail for each of their sins, big and small, into the wood of the cross, now blackened by the sweat, blood and ash of hundreds of processions. Each time the Low Sinner handles the cross or tries to shift it, these protruding nails draw further blood. A "1000" has been tattooed on his forehead and struck through, signifying that even a thousand processionals like this cannot expiate the Low Sinner's transgressions. Spectators are encouraged to throw small stones or the like at him. The procession moves in silence, accompanied only by the Latin exhortations of the priest throwing the ash, and the dull slaps of chains on skin.

A possible route would be Theatinerkirche - Marienplatz - Stachus (short ritual of universal debasement in front of the gospel choir) - Sonnenstrasse (in full traffic of course) - Sendlinger Tor -Theresienwiese just before Nena's gig starts. I think the inclusion of the black penitents would give the whole proceedings are direly missing note of somberness and purpose, and I can think of some people involved in churchly matters which would be ideal for the role as Low Sinner.