Taibbi on Bachmann

Matt Taibbi's exposé on Michele Bachmann, the possible tea party/ religious nuttery candidate for the American presidency in 2012, is easily the scariest thing you will read today. Bachmann is very, very crazy and the thought of her being somehow connected to the Oval Office is very, very scary - if she were angling for the presidency of Angola or Haiti, we could all have a good laugh, watch the carnage and send in the UN later to extinguish the pyres, but, regrettably, we are talking about the United States. And she makes Palin look like an unrefined prototype, a proof-of-concept at best: Palin is the mudskipper to Bachmann's frog.

Intimidation 101

This made my day. Players with intimidating characters should always have some of those quotes ready.

Scorched earth: What happened next?

The Scorched Earth campaign is still going strong. But after playing rather talky, very diplomatic and very careful characters for a long time, the players opted for something different, and the "false benefactor" plot line is developing on its own in the background, while the players make their influence felt in different places in the wastes. Two built very combat-oriented characters that took full advantage of the points you get for lowering you IQ-score, another one released an old sniper (José, for those with very long memories) from retirement: He once was basically a dumb guntower, now he has the potential to be the brains of the group. The fourth player opted out: no more spare time in the evening, and Dark Heresy is much more his style. Clearly, the remaining players wanted less talking, more shooting.

At the time being, they are in a besieged oil town deep in the Southwest, and there have been many, many fights against vicious ferales. Indeed, the sand runs red. I will put this adventure into story form, but possibly not in the same detail lavished on the exploits in Memphis and Refugium.

The costs of gaming

I am a gamer, and I spent quite lot of my spare time gaming. And thus, I thought it would be nice to have a look at the costs of my hobby, financial and otherwise, if only to rank it with other pastimes. This list only refers to pen-and-paper, classical table-bound role playing games. Not to WoW (which costs a lot more time, and your immortal soul), not to tabletop games with lots of small plastic soldiers (which can become quite expensive) or collectible card games (ditto), and nothing else (get your mind out of the gutter). Also, it is purely subjective and anecdotal – possibly, it would be cheaper to hunt gold-plated dolphins from a speedboat made from diamonds and supermodels.

Time – This hobby appears quite time-intensive – in fact, this seems to be the reason why most people hang up their dice bags (that and a sore lack of being awesome). If you take you gaming serious, reserve about four hours a week, uninterrupted, mostly on one evening. Add about five to ten full days during your weekends per year for those special occasions where you play your five-year old campaign with the hardened criminals from your student days or one-shots with people who have been reduced to one-shots but still like to roll em bones once or twice a year.

Double that time (at the very least) if you are a game master – while most of the preparation will happen in your unconscious, that copious jungle producing all those neat new species of ideas, you still want to hammer out the details, think about your set-pieces, create maps, hand-outs etc. This can be quite time-intensive, but can be mitigated by spending some cash for pre-made adventures. If you are that kind of person.

The time investment of the players is comparable to…any other serious hobby. If you play any sport semi-competitively, you will have a very similar schedule, with weekly training sessions and competitions on some weekends. Game masters will spend much more time, but then they want to, mostly.

The only problem is syncing all players’ date planners, something many sports teams get done with a minimum of fuss, week in, week out.

Comparable to: Volleyball in a semi-serious team hungry for the local finals

Money – RPGs are potentially very, very cheap compared to any other hobby. I have a sizable collection of rule- and source books, and I use maybe 10% of all the stuff I bought over the years, with about half of it rotting away in moving boxes. I feel that I am luxuriously equipped for following my hobby. Nonetheless, all the money I spent since I started playing pretend with a grimly furrowed brow would not buy me a halfway decent motorcycle, plus paying for said motorcycles upkeep, or a surfing board plus the travel expenses to get to the exciting beaches. It is surely cheaper than a pack-a-day smoking habit. Gamers kvetch about 40.00 Euro rulebooks – 40.00 Euros buy 15 meters of rope and nothing else if you are into climbing up and down mountains. Recently, I splurged 70 Euros on a dice bag which I will probably use for the next twenty years. 70 Euros will get you one measly locomotive, if you are a H0 enthusiast, and a lopsided smile if you are into old paintings or sports cars.

Of course you can spend ludicrous amounts of money on this hobby if you choose to – it will certainly add variety to the hobby and make your job as a game master much easier. But, in contrast to many other hobbies, the economic entry level is laughably low, and costs can remain well within the Spartan boundaries of the pocket money doled out to a teenager growing up in a protestant household.

If you go full austerity, all you need are some sheets of paper, pencils, and some kind of no-cost random number generator. You could probably play RPGs in jail without too much fuss.

Comparable to: Something between chess played with a set made from breadcrumbs and an old mattress, and chess played with heirloom pieces, with a serious library on the subject on stand-by.

Space – Here we come to the first spot where gaming might be more “expensive” than other hobbies. While you just seem to need a table to seat all participants, you also need some privacy. Gaming is not exactly a spectator sport, mostly because the topics discussed appear morbid or even criminal to the casual observer. While you could host a game of Human Occupied Landfill at a open-air pool or a session of Dark Heresy in a public park, this might elicit hostile reactions by other visitors – thus a secluded space is needed. But you don’t need an ocean beach, or a mountain range, to enjoy gaming to the fullest. And while some privacy is surely a good thing, it is not absolutely mandatory – as for some other pastimes.

Comparable to: Learning languages for fun

Natural resources – Gamers sure kill a lot of trees with all their books, and those dice are made from – wait for it – plastics, so when the oil runs out, we will all be flipping coins to find out if we hit that ork.

In fact, I spend much time on the computer, researching for my own scenarios, reading pdf.s, looking for funky images etc. And - as we are finding out – the internet don’t come cheap energy-wise. It would probably less resource-intensive if I did yoga or some such. Still, compared to most sports and high-octane hobbies, gaming has a negligible carbon footprint. It possibly is worse than collecting stamps, but certainly ranks above collecting exotic fishes.

Comparable to: Playing World of Warcraft, stopping after five to ten hours a week, which no WoW-player ever does.

Health – A real weak spot of the hobby. If you are into gaming and nothing else, you can basically watch your body rot away with each passing week. Many outdoorsy hobbies are much better for your body (until you fall from your bike and get a nice open fracture), and serious gamers tend to be in bad shape. So it is mandatory to get out of the basement some hours each week – you will also find that a well oxygenated game master is a sharp game master.

Comparable to: Watching TV – for fun! No, seriously, gamers should spend some times doing sports.

Edjera

Another settlement added to the scorched earth materials: A map will be added in time.

A letter waiting in Holy Flame City

Hello my friend,

I hope this little report on my latest exploits finds you in good health – in any case I am available for that little scheme of yours. But first let me tell you about my last three months.

After the little ruckus in Memphis I accompanied the young benefactor to Refugium, partly out of curiosity, partly because I had the feeling that a sound profit could be had – if not now, then maybe in a few years’ time. We were still after those high-end assassins who impersonated benefactors, and one of their tracks led to the very edge of the Appalachians.

Refugium is much less impressive than it’s portrayal in the stories. It’s basically a big book dump in an old federal prison, tended by some forty hermits – although I must admit that their leader Ling is maybe the sharpest guy I have ever met. Some good trade may be had, but don’t hope for cheap discounts – the “monks” are very good traders.

We did these monks a few favors of a violent nature, and in the course of these actions we found out that one of these assassins (although not the one we hunted) had made himself king of a local tribe. While he was not willing to meet us in person – and I would never walk willingly into his camp – the old silvertongue works well enough via radio and he spilled a few secrets, stuff not fit for paper. We’ll meet soon enough; I’ll get you up to speed then.

One thing I can tell you, because LAW knows of this, and thus we can be sure it will become common knowledge before the month is over. The assassin was originally after a secret facility from the Long Ago, hidden deep in a train tunnel. This info was kept safe (but indecipherable) to Refugium’s keepers, and our assassin hadn’t found a way to steal this secret, and thus just became a Hanhan warchief instead. After some to and fro (and there might have been some threats), the monks shared this knowledge with the young benefactor, and using some gadget from the assassin’s gear, we were able to pinpoint the position. And some good scav was found. The monks from Refugium and the benefactors are set to make a deal to share the facility as a safehouse and laboratory – the Institute might not be as safe as it was, and thus the benefactors seem to be looking for alternatives, while the monks are probably happy for the top notch health care they will be getting. Regrettably, the lawlita in our group probably reported this news to the tribunal as soon as he found a working radio (anything for a shot at getting his tattoo) so the secret is out.

In any case: While I didn’t exactly make a fortune, I came away with a “palpable plus” as your fetid partner used to say. I’ll be back in Holy Flame at the end of the month – I had my fill of all things LAW, and thus meeting up in Memphis is out of the question. Anyway: After a few months with a constantly doped-up benefactor, his sidekick “the weird kid” and a self-righteous, bullheaded glory seeker from Memphis, it will be a joy to work with professionals again.

best regards & keep your powder dry

MP

Now in English!

A glossary of the wastes has been arduously translated and now is at your disposal in the scorched earth materials post. In the future this will remain the variant which I will keep up to date - and the translation also contains some stuff not present in the German version.

DIY armaments

Sorry for the long absence - real life intruded and, like some kind of malevolent infestation, made for stressful days and unquiet nights and kept me from doing important things.

Like informing you about a nice photo essay in The Atlantic on salvaged, improvised and self-made weapons of the Libyan rebels. Technicals, hillbilly armor, retrofitted rocket launchers, oh my.